Yeah, so I know that in my first two posts, I made all this fuss about the purpose of this blog and my journey was not really to lose weight, but to focus on stopping the binge cycle and getting back to some healthy eating habits. And yes, those are totally valid goals that I am still striving towards. But I have to be honest with myself - I also really want to lose weight. Five pounds to start would be awesome, ten would be even better, twenty would make me really happy, and thirty would bring me back to my pre-return to graduate school weight. So yeah, I really want to lose weight. A substantial amount of weight. But I guess that will be part of the process - first focus on stopping the binge cycle, second get back to healthy eating habits, third get back into a regular exercise schedule, and then I can finally get to four and focus on weight loss.
I'm still in DC, so being busy and constantly around family or friends means no privacy to binge and also means generally being so busy that I'm not constantly thinking about stuffing my face with food. We did plenty of walking today - International Spy Museum and the Crime and Punishment Museum - I even had a salad for lunch. Course we also split an order of garlic, parmesan fries and my salad had pecan-crusted chicken and gorgonzola cheese in it. We also stopped at an amazing specialty cheese shop on the way home, and I helped myself to two types of cheese and some salami.
Ugh, how do you stop binging/start dieting when you just really, honestly love food? How can I ever get to a place where I can buy a 1/2 pound of cheese, take a few bites, and then not feel the intense urge to immediately eat the rest with a giant box of crackers? How do you get there? Cause I don't think that I can ever become one of those people that just eats the perfect proportion of protein, carbs, and veggies simply because that's what's in the plan day after day after day. I want to be able to eat delicious, specialty cheese and salami and also be able to really enjoy it without feeling shame that I ate too much saturated fat or went over my recommended daily caloric intake. I guess that will be part of the journey - finding a balance that works for me.
Food dairy:
Breakfast - 3 small pancakes with a bit of butter and maple syrup
Lunch - pecan chicken, pear, and gorgonzola salad with some garlic, parm fries
Snack - frozen yogurt with strawberries and cookie dough nuggets
Dinner - cheese, salami, and crackers
Snack - 1 key lime cookie, a few handfuls of popcorn
Days without incident: 3
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